


The Winter Soldier

by Daretodream66



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Cafe Owner Bucky, Captain America Steve Rogers/Modern Bucky Barnes, Lost and alone Steve Rogers, M/M, Steve Rogers/Jamie Barnes (Bucky's great-grandfather)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-06
Updated: 2019-09-06
Packaged: 2020-10-10 22:13:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20535431
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daretodream66/pseuds/Daretodream66
Summary: Bucky accidently meets Steve and finds out a secret from Steve's past.  It's very complicated and their relationship shouldn't work out.





	The Winter Soldier

**Author's Note:**

> This is one of the first things I wrote years ago. It's been edited all to hell since then.

James Buchannan Barnes owns The Winter Soldier. It’s an odd little place in Manhattan. It doesn’t fit in with the high end boutiques or ‘must be seen at’ restaurants that surround it. It’s a tiny place nestled between a corner smoke shop, where all the hipsters get their vape juice, and a jeweler that’s been there since the dawn of time. Mr. Constantine owns the jeweler that he inherited from his father and his father before him; he likes The Winter Soldier and comes in every day at the same time for tea. 

The owner, James, but please call me Bucky, always has it ready for him. He likes Mr. Constantine just as much as the old man likes him. They will sit sometimes and talk about when Mr. Constantine was a little boy and the fact that he went to school with the Steven Grant Rogers. Bucky likes hearing these stories because he always idolized Captain America. His grandpa had been in that prison in Austria and had been one of the men that came home because Captain America wouldn’t let 400 American soldiers die. Bucky used to ask his grandpa about Captain America, but his grandpa told him he didn’t really know Steve Rogers that well. It seemed strange to Bucky since grandpa’s family had lived in the building next door. No one else in the family ever said anything, so Bucky let it go.

Grandpa Barnes had always been an athletic type, so Bucky finally concluded that they didn’t run in the same circles back then. He knew that Steve Rogers had been an artist, that much he got from his grandfather and that Steve Rogers was small and sickly was about all. Grandpa did talk about Sarah Rogers some. She had delivered grandpa’s little sisters back then. No one could afford to go to the hospital, so having a nurse in the adjoining building had been a help to everyone in the neighborhood. Grandpa talked about Sarah like she was a living saint.

Grandpa Barnes asked for Bucky the day he died and Bucky had been sitting in the waiting room hoping to see Grandpa one more time. It had been a weird conversation that started with, “I know you’re gay, James.”

Bucky had never told his grandpa that, but the old man had figured it out. “I’m sorry, grandpa. I know it’s a disappointment.”

Grandpa Barnes had taken his hand, squeezed it weakly. “You’re not a disappointment. I’ve never been prouder of anyone, than I am of you.” Bucky had teared up at that. “I loved a man once, James.”

Bucky had nearly fallen out of his chair. “What?”

“I’m going to tell you a story, James. You may or may not believe it, but I swear on your father’s life that it’s true. I only ask that you don’t share it with anyone. It’s just for you.” Bucky had nodded and moved his chair closer to the bed holding tight to his grandpa’s hand. “I’m dying James and I want you to know that I loved your grandmother very much, but once I loved a boy more. Would have married him, if that had been allowed back then.” He takes a deep breath and looks at Bucky with tears in his eyes. The tears track down his face and Bucky wipes them away.

“Tell me, Grandpa.”

“Go to the closet, James.” Bucky got out of his seat and went to the closet. “There’s a box on the top shelf.” Bucky took it down and came back to sit down. “Open it. What’s in there is yours.” Inside the box was a deed to a property in Manhattan, a key to a safety deposit box with Bucky’s name on it, letters to and from Him only signed with an S, a slightly blurry picture of grandpa at Coney Island with the other half torn away, and a wedding ring. “That’s the ring I was going to give him when I came back from the war. Bought it in Paris. The picture was of the both of us, but we tore it in half when I left for the war. I got my half back later and he kept his.” Bucky took the ring and slipped it on the ring finger of his right hand. “Keep Him safe, James.” Everything seems okay except the picture. Bucky didn’t have the heart to ask why they didn’t keep each others, but it seemed unimportant at the time.

Bucky had kissed his grandfather’s hand and promised that his love would live through him. Bucky’s grandpa died that night. The nurse had gone in to check on him just after midnight, he’d closed his eyes with a smile and let go. Bucky cried for his grandpa for months. Still today, he’ll find himself twisting the ring on his finger and crying. That was three years ago.

So, he took the deed and the ridiculous amount of money from the safety deposit box and opened The Winter Soldier. The fuzzy picture of his grandfather is framed behind the counter. The rest of The Winter Soldier is eclectic in design and menu. Local artists from New York hang their work on the walls and patrons can buy the art if they want. 

Everything on the menu, from the coffee to desserts, has a name based in literature. The Raven is the most popular coffee on the menu and The Horcrux is a sampler platter that makes the customers giggle when they order. Bucky loves the place and because he owns the whole building, he lives upstairs in an apartment that was renovated along with the store downstairs. And because of his grandpa, he owns everything outright. He named it The Winter Soldier because of his grandpa, but when asked tells customers the name ‘just came to him.’

It’s a regular Thursday night, Bucky doesn’t have a closing time exactly, he just kind of plays it by ear on any given day. He’s about to go turn the sign on the door because no one has been inside for the last hour, but the door opens and the bell above it jingles. Bucky looks up from counting the money from the till and is struck dumb. The CEO of Stark Industries should not be standing in The Winter Soldier at 11:15 on a Thursday night. Bucky puts on his best smile. “Ms. Potts, what brings you to The Winter Soldier?”

She comes to the counter and extends her hand. “Mr. Barnes, it’s nice to meet you.” Because, of course, she’s done her research and knows who he is, he shakes her hand. “I’m actually here because a friend of mine, an artist you see, would like to hang some of his work here.” She seems flustered and not at all like the well put together woman that Bucky sees on TV. “He walked by here the other day and didn’t come in, but was really taken by your establishment.”

Bucky grins. “Thank you, that’s high praise from someone you consider a friend.”

She places a small portfolio on the counter. “He asked around and found out that you hang the work of local artists and wondered if you would be interested.”

Bucky opens the portfolio and is immediately mesmerized. The city scapes are breathtaking. There are a few of people, but not portraits, more like people on the street. Everything is in charcoal and Bucky has already picked out two that he wants for himself. “I would be honored. I’m not an art critic or anything, but these are incredible.”

Ms. Potts is positively beaming. “That’s what I told him.”

“Would he be interested in selling a couple of them to me, for my apartment, not for the store?”

“He would probably give them to you if you asked. He’s not much of a business mind.” She says it like it’s a secret. Then she smiles.

Bucky chuckles. “How many did he want to leave here?”

She smirks. “How many do you want?”

Bucky laughs. “All of them.”

She seems shocked, but pleased. Just as she’s about to say something else, she looks at the picture behind the counter. “That looks like you.” She’s indicating the picture of his grandfather. “A relative?”

He turns and picks the picture up. “Ah, yeah, that’s my great-grandfather.” He turns the picture so she can see it better. She runs her finger down the side that’s torn. Her brow furrows and she seems more interested in the torn paper than that subject of the picture.

“That’s odd.” Bucky looks at her quizzically. She doesn’t take her eyes from the picture. “Steve has a picture in his apartment that had a similar tear. It’s just strange.”

Bucky drops the picture to the counter. “Jesus Christ.” He whispers and turns to walk into the kitchen. This isn’t possible. His grandfather was in love with and apparently loved by Steve Rogers. It would make the evasiveness when they talked understandable. If his grandfather talked too much about Captain America, someone might have figured it out. He goes back to the front. “I’m sorry, I have to close now. If you leave me your number I can get in touch with you about the art.”

“Oh, of course.” She starts to go. “Are you alright?”

“Uhm…yeah, I’m fine.” She leaves and he locks the door and turns the sign. When he looks up to make sure she’s made it to her car, he sees a man waiting across the street for her. There’s no doubt in his mind who it is. “Steve.”

Sleep doesn’t come that night or the next. It’s been four days since Pepper came into the store and Bucky has spent that time going through the letters his grandpa wrote and the ones that he got in return from Steve. It’s the last one that has him stumped. It’s the last one that his grandpa sent home and it was returned to him.

It was written right before he was taken prisoner, so that means that Steve was already Captain America. That means that Steve had been writing to his grandpa like he was still in Brooklyn. That means that, it means that Steve had been lying to his grandpa about who he had become. Why? Why would he do that if they loved each other? What had Steve been afraid of? What had his grandfather been hiding? 

It’s near three in the morning and Bucky still can’t sleep. He’s in the kitchen trying out some new recipes. Cooking is something he learned from his grandpa and now he suddenly wants to make something special to them both. He pulls the recipe box down and starts going though everything he has. The pound cake wins and he starts the process. Baking calms him and baking the first thing grandpa taught him, does wonders for his emotions. It’s in the oven when there’s a knock on the kitchen door. Peeking through the hole, he sees… “Fuck.”

Taking a deep breath, he opens the door. Steve looks like he hasn’t slept in a lot longer than four nights. He’s haggard, eyes are swollen and red rimmed, and he’s pulled in on himself, like he wants to be that little guy again. “Come in.”

Steve steps into the kitchen and takes a deep breath. Probably meant to center himself, but instead he gets a nose full of. “Jamie.” Steve leans on the counter crying, soul crushing sobs.

Not thinking about the consequences, he takes Steve into his arms, rubbing soothing circles on his back and whispering calmly. “SShhhh Steve, it’s okay. Everything going to be okay. Let it out. I can hold you up.” He sobs until the timer goes off. He pulls away looking at the oven. “Let me just…”

Steve nods, still looking frail and beaten. “Is…is that h-his?”

Bucky pulls the cake from the oven. “Uh yeah, I needed to do something that made me feel close to him.” He puts the tube pan on a cooling rack, but doesn’t turn back around. “Why did you come here?”

Steve doesn’t answer the question, so Bucky turns to look at him. “You look like him.” He looks like he’s about to collapse and Bucky goes to him. “You called me Steve.” They slip to the floor and Bucky closes his eyes and just holds this broken man.

Steve is sitting on a stool drinking coffee with shaking hands as Bucky turns the cake out. “Do you want some? Can’t guarantee it’s as good as grandpa’s, but it’s not bad.” Steve nods and Bucky cuts a couple slices and goes to sit next to him with his own coffee. “The morning crew is going to be here in about 15 minutes. I don’t know if you want them to see you like this.”

Bucky takes a bite and savors the memory. “Jamie made me this the year I turned 16. Was the first cake we’d had in a year probably.” Steve looks up. “I’m sorry that I came here and bothered you. Pepper said I should have come earlier. She said you liked my sketches.”

“Those were yours? Of course they were. You went to art school.” He looks at the clock again. “Come on. Bring the cake and coffee. We’ll go upstairs to my apartment.” The conversation has been disjointed. Bucky asks or says something, but Steve doesn’t really answer. It’s the first time Steve seems to be with him.

“Oh, no…no, I can go. I’m really sorry I bothered you.”

Bucky throws his arms up then goes to Steve taking his face between his hands. Forcing the man to finally really look at him. “You are not bothering me. I want you to come upstairs so we can actually talk to each other.”

When they make it up the stairs, Bucky opens the apartment door and waves Steve in. Once the door is closed Bucky watches as he inspects the apartment. He’s gorgeous, if you take away the guilt and pain; even then he’s still beautiful.

“It’s a nice place. Our apartment could have fit in your kitchen.” Steve looks lost in a memory for a few minutes.

“Did you love him?”

“I thought I did. He was…” There’s a pause and a look of indecision, then resolution. “He was why I kept on living when all the doctors said I was going to die.”

“Then why? What happened?”

There’s a pained sound and then the broken man is back. “I took the serum so I could go fight with him. To protect him, but I got a letter.” He sits the coffee cup down and turns away from Bucky. “I got a letter from him. He wrote that the only thing that kept him going was knowing I was at home, safe.” He clenches his fists. “I had already taken the serum and was in Europe. I was afraid.”

“But then you found him, you saved him. What happened?” Bucky’s voice has gotten louder. He doesn’t want to be angry, but he can’t help it.

“I’m not sure…”

“Don’t you fucking say you shouldn’t tell me! I’ve been carrying this secret for days and I need to know!” He’s right next to him, close enough that he can feel Steve’s body heat. “Please, I need to understand.” He’s pleading for an explanation he doesn’t really think will happen.

“He…he took one look at me and I could see that he didn’t like what he saw.” There’s a choked sound from Steve’s throat. “He told me a few days later that we couldn’t be like that anymore. He didn’t feel the same.” His shoulders slump. “He took the medical discharge and went home. Told everyone that the Steve they knew died.” He sits heavily in a chair. “I guess that Steve did die and god knows who this guy is.” He indicates himself.

Bucky kneels down in front of him. “I can tell you he regretted that decision until the day he died.”

“Thanks for that.” He gets up. “I should go. I’ve bothered you enough.” 

“Nope, you aren’t going anywhere.” Steve looks at him surprised. “I’m betting you haven’t slept a decent night for awhile.”

Steve quirks a half smile. “Not since I walked passed here last week and saw you. Thought I’d finally gone crazy.”

Bucky laughs. “Well, I have a spare room and you and I need to sleep. I’ll get you some sweat pants and a t-shirt.”

“Why?” He seems unsure. “Why are you doing this…”

Bucky puts his hand out. “Bucky, James Buchannan Barnes, but my friends call me Bucky.” Steve shakes his hand. “And I’m doing this because I feel like it’s the right thing to do. Now come on and let’s sleep for a few hours.” He shows Steve the guest room then goes to his room and closes the door. Leaning against it with a heavy sigh he now understands why his grandfather was so evasive. You dump the guy you love because he changes. His grandpa felt guilty for having done it.

Bucky wallows around in bed that afternoon, he can smell coffee and bacon and wonders which one of his co-workers came up to fix him breakfast. He finally drags out of bed, looking at the clock to see if he’s overslept. It’s 1:03, so he’s still got time. He likes taking the later shift and closing up. He pulls on a pair of pajama pants and goes into the kitchen to find Steve cooking bacon and pancakes. “There’s coffee if you want. Sorry if I woke you. I was going to leave you food in the oven for when you got up.”

Bucky is frozen in place. Steve is still in his sweat pants and t-shirt, but the shirt doesn’t really fit. It isn’t that Bucky is skinny, he’s quite muscular, but nothing like Steve. The shirt is like a second skin and Bucky should not be thinking what he’s thinking about the guy that his grandpa loved. “Uh, thanks?”

Steve turns holding the spatula and sees Bucky’s face. “Oh shit, you wanted me to be gone.” He puts the spatula down and turns off the stove. “I can be out in like two minutes. Sorry.”

As he walks past Bucky he can’t help it and grabs Steve’s wrist. “Don’t go.” Steve looks at his hand and back up at Bucky.

“You sure?” Bucky is still holding his wrist. “You look kind of spooked.”

“Yeah, I’m sure. Stay and eat with me.” He finally lets Steve’s hand drop. “It just surprised me that you were still here.”

It’s another week before Bucky sees him again. And to Bucky’s credit, Steve is not all he’s been thinking about. When he sleeps, he’s not thinking of Steve. Today is soup day and Bucky is working on the last ingredients for the vegetable barley when he burns himself for the fourth time this week. “Fucking hell.”

“You know, boss, you’ve been kinda klutzy this week.” Benny is grinning at him. “You meet someone that’s got you tied up?”

Bucky jumps. “What? No! Just having an off week I guess.” Has he met someone? With that thought he realizes that’s it, he’s had enough of this. He physically shakes himself and tells himself to let it go. He is not going to even go down that path. But it’s hard whenever he’s seen the broken shell that is the real Steve Rogers. Not the hero that everyone expects of him, but who he really is under that. He’s gentle and kind and for god sakes one of the most incredible artists. _‘Okay, you’ve had your peek behind the curtain, now let it go. You’ll never be your grandpa and that’s what he really wants.’_

And that would have worked out great had Steve not come in when Mr. Constantine was having tea. “Steve?”

“Um hey, Buck. I just thought some coffee sounded good.” He seems shy.

“Steven?” Mr. Constantine turns to face him.

Steve looks at him for a minute then grins so wide it’s almost painful to watch. “Billy?”

They spend the afternoon talking about old times and laughing at things that happened in the old neighborhood. Bucky gets to see relaxed Steve. Happy Steve. Beautiful, generous Steve. _‘Well, fuck.’_

Steve comes back the next day and the day after that and the day after that. It becomes weeks and weeks of this. Steve becomes a permanent fixture in The Winter Soldier. Steve never brings up Bucky’s grandpa unless Bucky’s asks. He and Bucky talk and laugh about every day things and Steve starts showing up with his sketchbook. He’s intent on what he’s drawing one day and doesn’t appear to hear Bucky come up behind him. The piece he’s working on is Bucky.

Bucky just stands watching for a time. “You know, I was wrong. You don’t look exactly like him.” Steve turns in his chair. “Jamie was very handsome. All the girls thought so. You, you’re different.”

Bucky sits. “Oh yeah, how so?”

Steve blushes furiously. “Well…” He clears his throat. “You’re beautiful with a softness he never had.”

Bucky turns every shade of red there is. “Come on Stevie, I’m not…”

Steve jolts and then gets up. “I should go.” He grabs his things and is out the door before Bucky can stop him. It takes about five minutes for Bucky to realize what he did. Stevie. He called him Stevie. The pet name Steve admitted Jamie had called him. _‘Way to go genius.’_

In the weeks and weeks that Steve’s been going to The Winter Soldier, he’s also been going to therapy. He’d quietly asked Pepper if she could recommend someone that wasn’t associated with SHIELD. The woman that he ends up seeing is lovely, in a no-nonsense kind of way. Steve isn’t sure how to bring up the topic he really wants to talk about until the second session during the first week when Janine takes an emergency call from someone named Kate.

At first the call seems very serious until Janine starts to laugh. She hangs up a few minutes later. “I’m sorry, Captain, it seems my daughter had my wife convinced that she was near death. Amazing what a really smart kid can pull off with red kool-aid powder.” She’s still snickering, but sees Steve’s eyes get wide. She clears her throat and folds her hands on the desk. “If my sexuality is a problem for you Captain, I can recommend someone else.”

Steve just looks at her wide eyed and spits out, “I’m gay.”

Janine grins. “I think you and I need to start over and you need to tell me why you really came to see me.”

Steve nods and starts at the beginning. He tells her about his relationship with Jamie, about how that ended, about seeing Bucky, about getting to know Bucky, about how he doesn’t want to use Bucky to relive his past. When he’s done, he sits back breathing heavily. “I’m so confused by what I’m feeling and it’s not fair if it’s just…”

Janine comes around the desk, sitting next to Steve. “The word you’re looking for is transference.” Steve looks confused. “It means that you don’t really have these feelings for Bucky, but have taken what you felt for his great-grandfather and moved it onto him.”

Steve hangs his head. “So you’re telling me that I am using him.”

Janine shakes her head. “I’m telling you that we need to work this through so we can figure out if that’s what you are doing. It could be that you see something in Bucky that’s new. The fact that this concerns you means that you are more aware than most of my patients. It gives me hope that you can find happiness. Maybe with him, maybe not, but it’s a way to put the past where it belongs."

“Why did you call this place The Winter Soldier?” Bucky hasn’t seen Steve in months. He had resigned himself to the fact that he wouldn’t see him again. It’s a cold Wednesday in November when he finally comes back in and asks that question.

“Steve.” It’s barely above a whisper, but Steve blushes anyway. Bucky’s thought a lot about Steve over the months and he keeps coming back to the same thing. He’s falling for this guy and has no right to. He has no right to want to claim something that Steve can’t give. He knows that Steve comes in because the place is comfortable and Bucky looks like Steve’s Jamie. Steve can’t care about someone that looks like his lost love. Maybe that’s what Bucky’s been playing with, getting close to someone he finds attractive and using pain to do it. He hates himself for it. “I…uh…named it for my grandfather.”

“I don’t understand.”

“My grandpa wrote that he used to hold you in the winter to keep you warm and how much he missed that, so Winter and he was a soldier, so Soldier.” Steve makes three long strides and is in Bucky’s personal space. “Steve?”

“I need to try something, but I won’t if you tell me not to.” He cups Bucky’s cheek so softly and Bucky can’t help himself and nuzzles into the touch. “Please?”

Bucky nods and Steve closes the space between them. It’s soft and tender. He raises his head and looks at Bucky. “You’re definitely not him.” He dives back in and the kiss is not soft or tender, but passionate and with intent. He’s kissing Bucky’s neck whispering. “Bucky.” Over and over.

Bucky grabs his hand and drags him towards the stairs. “Benny, takin my break.” They make it up the stairs and into Bucky’s apartment. The door shuts with a little extra force and Bucky turns. “What is this?”

Steve puts his hands out to placate Bucky as best as he can while explaining his actions. “Okay, I’ve been seeing a therapist since I left here that day and for the past few months almost every day and all I keep talking about recently is you.” Bucky looks horrified. “Now, just a minute. I explained that I was confused and worried that I was using you to relive what I had with him. She had me talk it through and make a list of all the things I loved about him and compare it to what draws me to you.” 

“Jesus Steve.” Bucky’s pacing now. “I know I look like him, but I’m not him. I’m not and can’t be. I have different life experience and I’m not afraid to be open about my relationship. If I had one.”

Steve is waving his arms. “That’s what I’m saying. After I made the list I realized that I’m not drawn to you because you look like him or act like him. The fact is, you are so different. That’s what drew me in at first, but that’s not what kept me coming back. You’re completely different. Relaxed, happy, open, beautiful, smart, funny…god you’re perfect.” He pulls out the list handing it to Bucky. “See, that’s what I keep saying and my therapist thinks that I was drawn to you because there is a familial connection, her words, but you are nothing like him. And the more I draw you the bigger the difference become.” He comes to Bucky and cups his face again, but this time with both hands. “I’m falling for _you_ Bucky, not because of who your grandfather was to me, but for you. Please believe me.”

“Then why did you storm out the day I called you Stevie?” His hands fall away from Bucky’s cheeks and he misses the warmth of them.

“Because it sounded so much better coming from you. And it scared the shit out of me because I wanted to hear you say it every day. And that brought more guilt. I thought I would be dishonoring him by thinking that, but my therapist told me I don’t owe anything to a memory. And you accept me for who I am and you don’t judge me for anything before.” His shoulders drop like he’s expecting to be thrown out. “And it’s crazy and even I can see the insanity of asking you to give me a chance. You have no reason to trust what I’m saying.”

Bucky wraps his arms around Steve’s neck and his legs around his waist. Bucky’s kissing and biting at his neck when Steve groans. Bucky licks his ear and whispers. “I’m going to assume you two had sex, so you know how this works.” Steve whimpers, but nods. “Good because you’re going to fuck me in every way possible before we leave my bed.” Bucky’s throwing caution to the wind and letting himself have this. Even if it comes back to bite him in the ass later, at least he’ll have this.

“Jesus Bucky.” But he’s carrying him towards the bedroom and Bucky is kissing him for all he’s worth. Hours later they lay sweat soaked and panting. “I’ll say it again, Jesus Bucky. How are you so bendy?”

Bucky laughs freely and realizes how happy he feels. “I do yoga.”

It’s Steve’s turn to laugh and he sounds years younger than he has since Bucky met him all those months ago. “Yoga, huh? I may have to try that.”

Bucky rolls over and Steve opens his arms to welcome him. He lays his head on Steve’s chest and draws lazy patterns on his stomach. He’s thought more than once that he could get really hurt by all this, but isn’t willing to stop considering how good he feels. “What do you want from all this Steve?” He looks up and Steve seems confused by his question. “You have an image to uphold and if you don’t want this getting out I’d be willing to stay in the shadows for a little while.”

“I would never ask you to do that.” Steve seems shaken.

“For you I would.” Bucky relaxes into Steve’s embrace. 

“Bucky?” Bucky doesn’t move. “Bucky look at me.”

He sits up and looks down at Steve. “My god you are beautiful.”

Steve reaches up and cups his head bringing him down for a kiss. “I don’t want to hide. I don’t want you to hide. I want to do all of the things that any couple does. Take you on dates. Hold your hand. Hell, I want to introduce you to my friends.” He furrows his brow. “Although I don’t know that I want you in the same room with Tony.”

Bucky chuckles. “Yeah, he seems kind of…”

“Overbearing, conceited, arrogant, narcissistic?” Steve’s grinning now.

“Yeah, all of those things.” Bucky takes his hand and intertwines their fingers. “You really want to do all of that?”

Steve sits up too. “Are you kidding?” He indicates Bucky. “You want to be with me and you don’t think I want to show you off to the world? Fuck, someone like you with someone like me. Hell yeah, I want everyone to know.”

Bucky straddles Steve’s lap wrapping his arms around Steve’s neck. “And just what do you mean, someone like me with someone like you?”

“You’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen.” He flushes deeply. “I mean damn you aren’t just attractive, you’re like a fucking angel.”

Bucky rests his forehead on Steve’s shoulder. “Have you seen yourself?”

Steve huffs. “Yeah, well, all of this came out of a bottle. That’s what Tony told me and it’s true.”

Bucky pushes Steve down until he’s lying amongst the pillows. Hovering over him and running his finger from Steve’s forehead to his chin. “All of this is just a reflection of what was already inside.”

Steve kisses his finger that has traveled back up to Steve’s lips. “God I love you.” Steve looks horrified that he’s said it out loud. He tries to hide by turning his face away from Bucky. “I’m sorry. That was out of line.”

Bucky leans in and kisses Steve gently. “No such thing as out of line.” And he grinds down on Steve. They moan in tandem. “I love you too, Stevie.” Steve flips them and now hovers over Bucky. “I could get used to being manhandled.”

Later pinned to the wall of the shower, Bucky is hanging on to Steve while the super soldier thrusts. He’s lost all sense of himself and doesn’t know where he ends and Steve begins. It’s never been like this. Sex has always been fun, noncommittal, but with Steve it’s like breathing. He hears Steve whisper his name and wants to cry because it’s said with such devotion. Steve is holding him, cradling him with his arms, “Please Bucky, say it. Need to hear it.”

“I love you, I love you, I love you.” He chants as Steve gets closer to coming. “Please Stevie, please come in me. Need to feel you.” Steve begins pounding like he’s chasing a dream. Bucky cries out when his orgasm hits and begins to slump against the wall, but Steve just holds him steady, protecting him. When Steve finally comes he bites down on Bucky’s shoulder causing the younger man to cry out again. They slowly slide down until they are sitting in the floor of the shower. Bucky still carefully cradled in Steve’s arms. “Holy fucking hell.”

Steve is gently kissing every piece of skin he can reach on Bucky’s body. “It’s never been like this before.” Bucky looks in his eyes and sees the truth. “I love you.” Bucky starts to answer, but Steve’s face stops him. He takes Bucky’s hand and puts it over his heart. “I mean that. I. Love. You. Not a memory, but you.”

“I believe you Steve because it’s never been like this for me either.” Something profound passes between them and they are silent as they wash each other with attentiveness, exploring the planes of the other’s body, and exit the shower. Steve spends just as much time drying Buck and wrapping him in a soft towel. Scooping him into his arms Steve sits him in a chair by the window and changes the sheets on the bed. He lifts Bucky into his arms again, placing him amongst the pillows. The reverence that he pays is a level of adoration that Bucky isn’t used to. Any doubt that Bucky may have had, blows away like a leaf on the wind.

The following evening it’s quiet in the common room at the Tower. Much more quiet than Bucky anticipated. They are standing at the window looking out at the city as the sun sets. “It’s a really beautiful view. You drew this didn’t you?”

Steve is standing behind Bucky with his arms encircling his waist, resting his chin on Bucky’s shoulder. “Yeah, it’s one of the first things I drew.” Steve nuzzles his neck and kisses lightly. “I like your place better though. It has a homier feel.”

“I take that as an insult, Cap.”

They both jump and turn to find Tony leaning against a pillar watching them. “Jesus Tony, wear a bell or something.”

Tony smirks, pushes off the pillar and walks towards them. Bucky leans into Steve’s side and Steve puts a protective arm around him. Bucky already doesn’t like the man for how he’s made Steve feel less than who he is. “So, this is the illusive Mr. Barnes. Not bad Cap, he’s really pretty.”

Steve bristles. “Show some respect Tony.”

“Oh my, you have it bad don’t you, Cap?”

Tony seems hell bent on upsetting Steve and that is not working for Bucky at all. He pulls away from Steve and stops in front of Tony. “It’s not nice to talk about people when they are standing right here. You have something to say about me, feel free to say it _to_ me.” Tony seems shocked that a stranger would speak to him this way. “You’re damn right I’m pretty and Steve deserves a little eye candy, don’t you think.” He walks back over to Steve and kisses him in the filthiest way possible. Steve response with gusto and Bucky is nearly half hard by the time they’ve made their point.

“Holy shit, that was hot.” Tony actually seems a little off center from the display. “I like him. Can we keep him, Cap?”

“I get to keep him. You get to be jealous.” Steve is nipping at Bucky’s lips.

“I like you better when you’re with him. You’re definitely keeping him.” Tony starts to walk away.

“Damn right I’m keeping him.” And goes back to kissing Bucky senseless.

Later, as they lounge on the sofa Steve’s back to the arm and Bucky resting against his chest playing with Steve’s long, artist’s fingers, Bucky thinks he likes his apartment better too. This view is incredible, but it feels sterile. Steve is lazily running the fingers of his other hand through Bucky’s hair and Bucky may as well be purring he’s so content. “I didn’t expect it to be this quiet. I thought we’d be overrun with Avengers trying to pry information out of me.” Steve hums. “I guess I just thought they would want to know that I was good enough for their Captain.”

“Give it a little longer, I guess most of them were out today, but Tony’s had enough time to get back to his lab and call all of them.” He leans down and kisses Bucky’s temple. “And it doesn’t really matter what they think. I know you’re too good for me.”

Bucky sits up and turns in Steve’s arms. “One of these days you’re going to stop saying things like that.”

Steve smirks. “Don’t count on it.”

“You haven’t seen my grumpy cat impersonation in the mornings either.” Steve starts to laugh. “I’m not human until I’ve had coffee.”

Steve pulls him in and kisses him lightly. “Oh, I don’t know. I saw you this morning and you didn’t seem too grumpy.”

Bucky turns back and lies against Steve’s chest again. “Well, waking up to you doing what you were doing doesn’t leave a lot of time to be grumpy.”

Steve is in the middle of laughing again when the elevator dings and Earth’s Mightiest Heroes nearly fall out on the floor trying to push their way out to get a look at Cap’s boyfriend. They all try to act cool the way a cat does when it runs into a glass door. “Oh uh hey Cap. Didn’t know you were here?” Clint tries to be smooth, but it falls short. “And who do we have here?”

Natasha elbows him. She too is trying to look cool and uncaring, but her eyes are flicking up and down Bucky assessing him. Sam and Bruce, who actually hit the opposite wall coming out of the elevator, are trying to look casual leaning against said wall.

“Guys, this is Bucky. My boyfriend.” Bucky starts at that, but then grins like the cat that got the canary.

They come forward and all shake hands. Natasha is still sizing him up. “What do you do, Mr. Barnes?”

Bucky quirks a smile at her and decides to play along. “Well if everything Steve tells me is true, then you already know what I do, where I live, who my relatives are and probably what I named my pet cat when I was a kid.”

Steve laughs and wraps his arms around Bucky’s waist, pulling him tight to his body. Bucky thinks it’s not just to show affection, but to also send a message to the team. ‘Hurt him and I hurt you.’ Bucky just basks in that for a few seconds before looking back at them. 

“He’s got you there, Nat.” Clint isn’t sizing him up, he’s grinning in a way that makes Bucky think he’s really happy for Cap.

“Be that as it may, why don’t you tell us something we don’t already know about you?”

He leans up and looks at Steve. “Is there anything you don’t already know about me?”

There’s silence, then chuckles. “I like this guy. Can we keep him?” It’s the second time today they’ve heard that and Steve couldn’t be happier. Clint comes over and links arms with Bucky, dragging him to the sofa again. “Bucky, can I call you Bucky, how do you feel about pizza?”

“Well as long as it’s New York style and not that Chicago crap, I’m a big fan.”

Clint throws himself onto the sofa. “Yep, definitely keeping him.”

It took two weeks for Steve to move his things out of the Tower and into the apartment above The Winter Soldier. It took two days for Bucky to wrap his head around the idea that Captain America was serving coffee now. It took Bucky half a second to know that he was in this for the long haul. Steve was it.

Steve was wiping the counter down after a little girl became so enamored of Captain America knowing how to make hot chocolate that she’d spilled it. He’d quickly made her another and given her a cookie to go with it. She’d blushed and run off to her mother minutes later. Bucky watches the entire exchange with a sappy, goofy grin on his face. Currently, Benny is trying to show Steve how to make one of their more popular coffee drinks. He’s been so engrossed in watching that he doesn’t see Sam and Natasha come in. “You keep looking at him like that and people are going to start throwing up.”

Bucky jumps. Natasha grins. “Well, we know now you aren’t a spy sent to steal Cap.” Bucky frowns in confusion. “A spy would have known we were here and had been here for several minutes.”

Bucky just shrugs and goes to the counter. “I think your friends are here to harass me. I need protecting.” He goes around the counter and Steve wraps him up securely in his arms and kisses his forehead.

“See, all better. Safe and sound.” Bucky leans up and kisses him quickly. Steve doesn’t move his arms and just holds on to Bucky, who relaxes into the embrace. “What do you two want? Don’t tell me you’re still thinking he’s a spy.”

Sam laughs and points at Natasha who looks offended. “Actually we’re here because we may have a mission.”

Before Steve would have been on high alert, but instead he looks forlornly around the store. “Do I have to? Can’t someone else go?”

“Wow, who knew Captain America was a whiny bitch.” Natasha elbows Sam in the side and he makes an ‘oof’ sound.

“It’s just recon, nothing really dangerous, but it’s a little country in Africa that asked specifically for the help.” Steve looks at her with an ‘and this effects me how’ look. “The king doesn’t normally let outsiders into his country, but needs help and asked for you.” Steve has almost stopped listening because Bucky has started nuzzling his neck. “Oh for god sakes, would you two stop that!”

Bucky’s shoulders start shaking. He looks at Natasha with a devious grin. “Nope.” And pops the P to make his point.

“You are a little shit.” She fires back.

“He’s my little shit, thank you very much.” Steve kisses him again.

Bucky backs away. “You need to go to work before your friends have an aneurism.” For a second Steve really does look torn. “I’ll be here when you get back.”

Steve drags his knuckles down Bucky’s cheek. “I’ll come back.” He steps back into Bucky’s space and rests their foreheads together. “I’ll always come back to you.”

They start out of the store when Natasha turns to Bucky looking very serious. “You have given him a life. Thank you.”

Bucky just grins and heads to the kitchen as the trio leaves the store. He can’t believe this is his life. He loves that man with every fiber of his being and the sex is a god damn miracle. Steve never gets tired and his refractory period is next to non-existent. Happy fucking birthday to Bucky every damn day. But it’s more than that. 

Every morning when he wakes up, trudges into the kitchen and finds the coffee already brewed and some kind of breakfast waiting for him, he doesn’t know what he did to deserve this life. It’s not just that, it’s all manner of little things. The way Steve says his name, like it’s a physical caress. Or the way he smiles at the customers. Or the way he is with Bucky’s employees. Or the way Bucky will wake at night sometimes with Steve staring at him. When he asks if he’s okay, Steve just replies. “I didn’t know it could feel like this.” Those nights usually end with Steve making love to him; slow and gentle. On those nights, Bucky understands every sappy, love song ever written.

A week later, Bucky hasn’t heard anything from Steve and he’s dropping coffee cups and spilling things in the kitchen. His staff has decided that he’s banned from the kitchen completely. At their urging he finally calls the Tower. He doesn’t expect to be patched through to Ms. Potts. “Bucky, I’m surprised it took you this long to cave and make the call.”

“I wish I had a pithy response to that, but I’m too tied up in knots to care. Have you heard anything from them?” He realizes that he’s near tears and clings harder to the phone.

“Bucky listen, I’ve been through this enough times to know that no news with these idiots is actually good news. It means they are working and no one is hurt.” Bucky breathes a sigh of relief. “You really are in bad shape.”

“Yeah, yeah, worse than even I knew, I guess.” He takes a deep breath. “I’m sorry, I’ll let you go.”

“Oh no, you are going to grab your coat, a car will be there in 10 minutes and you are coming here for dinner.”

“No I cou…”

Before the words are all the way out, she’s laughing. “Oh that’s cute; you think you have a choice. Get your ass in gear Barnes; we are eating, drinking, and prank calling the Avengers.”

Bucky laughs so hard he nearly drops the phone. “Okay, that’s an idea I can get behind. See you soon.”

Three more days pass and Bucky is better. He’s been given access to his kitchen and has cooked until the store is bursting with new items. Pepper had come in the day after their dinner, wearing sunglasses and requesting that they not drink so much champagne again. Bucky had started to laugh, but found it detrimental to hangover recovery. They made a pinky promise to never drink that much again.

Currently he’s rolling out puff pastry for a quick lunch idea he’s been thinking about when Benny comes into the kitchen. “Boss, we have a situation out front and I think you’re going to want to handle it. Customers pretty upset.”

Bucky sighs. They don’t have many disgruntled people, but sometimes it happens. He wipes his hands on the towel over his shoulder, brushes back his hair and puts on his best ‘how can I make you happy so you’ll go away’ smile. He isn’t expecting Steve, but there he is, in all of his Captain America glory. “I didn’t want to take the time to change. I hope you don’t mind.” 

Bucky’s already in his arms, wrapping around him like an octopus. “Benny…”

“Yeah, I know boss, you’re taking your break.” He’s wiping down the counter as they make their way down the hall and up the stairs. “Can you keep it down this time? You’re scaring small children and delicate adults.”

“Smartass.” Bucky yells back. Once showered and a very enthusiastic blow job later, they’re in bed making out. “God, I missed you. Don’t do that again.”

“Do what?” Although Steve is smiling, so Bucky’s sure he knows what’s coming next.

“Don’t disappear like that with no messages that you’re alive.” Bucky pouts for affect.

“I don’t know, if I can have more messages like the ones you left on my phone, I may go away more often.” Steve chuckles. “You know, Tony thinks you are corrupting Pepper.”

Bucky sits up and straddles Steve’s waist. “I’ll have you know that all of that was her fault and I had the hangover the next day to prove it.” He leans down and kisses up Steve’s neck to his ear. “You don’t have anywhere to be for awhile, do you?”

Steve moans when Bucky nibbles just below his ear. “I did leave before filing my report, but screw Fury. I don’t really like the guy anyway.”

There’s no more talking for long while, with the exception of whispered names and confessions of love. The following morning, Bucky gets breakfast in bed. While sipping his coffee he watches Steve pace nervously in the bedroom. “Stevie, what’s goin on?”

“What do you mean?” Bucky cocks his head and gives Steve his best unimpressed look. “I’ve just been thinking something, but it’s too soon and you’ll think I’m crazy and then probably dump me and I don’t want that to happen. Do you know what I mean?”

Bucky moves the plate from his lap to the bedside table and goes to Steve. Taking his hands he leads him back to the bed to sit. “I have no fucking clue what any of that meant.”

Steve clings to Bucky’s hand, tracing the veins delicately. “You have to understand, Buck, when I was with Jamie things were very different. If we had continued our relationship and anyone had found out, we could have been arrested or worse. The army would have blue ticketed us for deviant behavior.” He pauses and looks at Bucky haunted. “Now, it’s accepted and most people really do believe that love is love.” He strokes Bucky’s cheek reverently. “My god you are beautiful. Like a god damn angel.” Bucky snorts a laugh. “No, really you are. Coming in here yesterday felt more like coming home than anything I’ve had before.” Bucky squeezes his hand. “I want to marry you.”

It’s so plainly said that it takes Bucky’s mind a minute to catch up. “Wait. What?”

“You heard me right. I want to marry you.” Bucky’s eyes are as big as saucers. “Just listen for a minute.” He nods and Steve continues. “I know it hasn’t been that long, but this I’m sure about. Since coming out of the ice, this is the only thing I’ve been sure about. My team means a lot to me, but certain members I don’t trust completely cause they keep things from me.” He gets up and kneels on the floor beside the bed and takes Bucky’s hands. “You’re strong and sure. You make me feel stronger and surer about everything. You’re my true north James Buchannan Barnes, my beautiful Bucky. Let me make you happy, cause I swear I will every day.” He kisses him lightly and pulls back. “Marry me Bucky?”

Bucky tackles him to the floor, kissing all over his face and neck. “You bet your ass I’ll marry you, Steven Grant Rogers.”

Two weeks and another mission later, Bucky is called to the Tower by Pepper. He’s expecting another night of drinking and prank calling, but knows something is up when she meets him in the lobby. They haven’t told anyone about being engaged, but Pepper seems to have picked up on a shift in their relationship. “Pepper?”

She’s off center and shaking. “Okay James, don’t panic.”

So, of course, he panics. “What happened? Where’s Steve? Is he okay?” Then it hits him and he starts to have a panic attack. “Oh god…he’s…he’s…”

He doesn’t realize that he’s on the floor of the elevator until Pepper is kneeling in front of him. “He’s not dead. He’s not dead.” She keeps repeating it over and over until Bucky is back with her. When she sees recognition, she continues. “He was hurt, but he’s going to be okay. I just didn’t want to say any of this over the phone.”

He struggles to stand and hugs her tightly. “Thank you, thank you, thank you.”

Steve is trying to get out of the bed when Bucky walks in. “I’m fucking fine, Tony. I need to get home.”

“Get your ass back in that bed!” Steve freezes, as do all of the other people in the room when Bucky speaks. “You will stay in that bed until I tell you that you can get up. Do you understand, punk?”

Steve slinks back into the bed and pulls the sheet over his legs. “Yes.” It’s said in a tiny voice that should not be coming out of Captain America.

“Good, now what happened?” They tell Bucky what they can about the mission and how Steve got a blast burn to his side. Tony saw him go down and between him and the rest of the team, they were able to finish the fight and get Steve to the quinjet. He turns to Steve. “And you were going to what? Crawl home? I swear to god Steven Grant Rogers, I will end you if you do anything this stupid again.”

Steve looks sheepish and Tony is grinning like an idiot. “Oh we are so keeping him.” Pepper elbows him in the side. “What? No one has ever been able to get Cap to do anything, but look.”

Steve sits in the bed, while Bucky runs his fingers through his hair. They are smiling at each other and Bucky is whispering something the others can’t hear. Quietly everyone exits the room to congregate in the hall. 

Bucky crawls into the bed with Steve and holds him close. “When I got here and Pepper was downstairs, I knew it was something bad. I thought you were dead.” Steve looks up at him and isn’t surprised to see tears on his face. “I thought you were dead.”

Bucky pulls him even closer and after crying himself out, they fall asleep cuddled on the bed. The following morning, Steve wakes to the sound of the door closing. Bucky is holding Steve against him like he can stop anything bad from ever happening to him again. Steve wakes and looks over Bucky to see Tony standing in the room. “It’s too early for any of your crap, Tony.”

Tony doesn’t smile or smirk, he just stands inside the door watching. After a couple of minutes and Steve becoming a little unsettled by the staring, Tony comes to sit in a chair next to the bed. Bucky doesn’t stir. “When you first started talking about him,” He indicates Bucky, “I didn’t think you were serious.” Steve starts to talk, but Tony holds up a hand to stop him. “Then when you brought him here to the Tower and he got in my face, I liked him immediately.” Steve’s face softens when Bucky nuzzles closer in his sleep. “You’ve got something special here; Cap and I want you to have it all the time.”

“Tony, where is this coming from?” Steve’s confused because Tony has never liked him. He’s followed Steve’s orders in battle and even seems to respect that part of Steve, but never the man.

Tony leans back in the chair, seeming to gather his thoughts. “I’ve been guilty of just seeing the icon and not the guy behind the shield.” Steve gives a barely there nod. “You’re a good guy and he’s good for you.”

“Then how about not telling him everything special about him came out of a bottle.” It’s said sleep fuzzy and half muffled from where Bucky’s pressed his face into the pillow.

Tony snorts. “If you don’t keep him, I’ll have to adopt him.” He gets up and leaves.

That afternoon Bucky goes back to the store to pick up some extra clothes and talk to Benny. It had been suggested that Steve stay at the Tower, just in case he had any complication, so Bucky wants to stay with him. 

“Don’t worry, boss, we got this. You take care of Cap and we’ll take care of the store.” Bucky is a lucky son of a bitch to have employees, who are also friends. The car takes him back to the Tower where he is informed that Steve has been moved to his floor from the hospital wing. When Bucky arrives Steve is sitting on the sofa talking with Sam.

“Steve, buddy, listen, you have to take the down time and heal completely. We can run missions without you for a little while and if Barnes finds out you’re even thinking of going out, he’ll strap you down and kill all of us for letting you do something so stupid.” Bucky likes Sam; he has a good head on his shoulders.

“I don’t know what Captain America thinks he’s going to do, but until the Doc gives him the go ahead, he’s going to be staying right where he is. And if he has other ideas, then he will be going without sex for the foreseeable future.” Steve’s head whips around and Bucky smirks at him.

Steve grins and holds out his hand for Bucky. “Well, we can’t have that now can we?” Sam laughs and gets up to leave.

“Man, you are so whipped.” They can hear his laughter even after the elevator doors close.

“You want to tell me what that was all about?” Bucky sits on the opposite end and pulls Steve’s feet into his lap and starts rubbing them.

“God Buck, that feels amazing.” He lays his head back against the arm rest. “I wasn’t actually thinking of going anywhere, but I asked Sam what I was supposed to do if a mission came up.”

“It’s a whole team of super heroes. I think they can handle it until you get better.” Bucky stops rubbing and Steve lifted his head. “You don’t have to save the world on your own.”

“You start rubbing my feet again and I may never leave this couch.” Bucky chuckles, but starts rubbing again.

It takes two more days before Steve gets the all clear from the doctor to go back home. Bucky had gone to work that morning, so Steve packed all of their things and headed out. He wasn’t expecting to walk into The Winter Soldier and find the entire team sitting around a table sipping coffee and laughing with Billy Constantine. “Are you telling me that he actually tried to beat up a guy that was three times his size?” Tony is getting much too much pleasure from the conversation.

Steve stays frozen in the doorway when Billy answers. “You must understand how small he actually was back then. If he was 5’6”, I would be surprised and maybe, if he was soaking wet, he may have been 100 pounds. But that never stopped Steven from taking on a nogoodnik when the opportunity presented itself.” Bucky is coming out of the kitchen when Billy says one more thing. “Jamie Barnes had to pull him out of fights all the time.”

Everyone stops, including Bucky. He looks over at Steve who has a smile that he’s never seen before. It’s not longing. It’s more like…

“Jamie was a good friend that saved my ass more than a few times.” He goes to the table, shaking Billy’s hand. “Billy, it’s good to see you.”

“Who’s Jamie Barnes?” Natasha is getting that look. The one that even Bucky has discovered to be unwanted. 

Bucky places the snacks on the table, looking at Steve. “He’s my great-grandfather.”

Tony looks up from his phone where a text has come in from Pepper. “Wait, you’re grandfather was Cap’s best friend? That’s a little…”

It’s Sam that sees that look on Steve’s face. “That’s not anything, Stark. Just a coincidence. Right Cap?”

Steve clears his throat. “Uh yeah. I’m going to put this upstairs.” He heads off and Bucky follows him. A look is exchanged between Natasha and Tony. Bucky knows by that look that they are starting to put together that there’s more to this than they’ve been told. When he reaches the apartment Steve is pacing. “Steve? What’s goin on?” He turns to Bucky with panic and guilt. The worst is coming, Bucky can feel it. “What do you need me to do?” He’s resigned to this going south and just gives up.

Steve pulls him close, hugging him tighter than he ever has before. “I should be asking you that.” He releases Bucky. He sees that look from early on, the one that means Bucky is closing himself off. “Buck?”

“Come on Steve, you know that Natasha and Tony are like dogs with a bone. They are going to start digging and figure out how this all started and I’m going to look like a freak, chasing after my grandfather’s boyfriend!” Bucky’s losing himself in his spiraling thoughts, until Steve grabs him and kisses the living shit out of him.

“You listen to me; I don’t give a damn about what they think. I know…you get that…I know what we have is real. In fact…” He releases Bucky and heads back out the door. Bucky’s too dazed for a minute to get what’s about to happen and by the time he comes back to himself, Steve’s already down the stairs. He runs to try and stop this insanity that’s about to happen. Steve’s standing next to the table, leaning over the chair that Billy had vacated when returning to his shop. Bucky’s at the bottom of the stairs and hears Steve’s low voice. “I’m going to tell this story once and then every one of you are going to let it go. And if you don’t, you’ll need to find a new person to carry the shield. I won’t be part of a team that digs up dirt on their teammates.” He looks directly at Tony and Nat.

Bucky comes up beside him, hand on Steve’s back. “Steve?”

“You’re worth more than that damn shield and I won’t give you up because they want to create drama.” Again, he looks at Tony and Nat. “So here’s the story…” Steve tells them everything that won’t embarrass Bucky too much. He watches as their eyes get big as saucers. He sees Sam get really concerned then relax when Steve talks about his therapist that he’s still seeing. He sees Tony look embarrassed. He sees Natasha with her calculating look. When he’s done, his arm is around Bucky, who is looking at the floor. Steve gives Bucky hip a light squeeze. “Now, you can take this information and do with it what you want,” Steve leans over the table again. “unless that includes trying to use it against Bucky or me. That happens and I’m out.” Taking Bucky’s hand Steve leads him back up the stairs.

Bucky kisses him fiercely when the apartment door closes. “I can’t believe you told them you’d walk away. Steve you can’t be serious about that.”

Steve pulls Bucky against him, kissing the top of his head. “I meant every damn word. One thing being with you has taught me is that love like this doesn’t come around often and I would rather work here at the café than carry the shield if it means being with you.”

Bucky is seriously thinking of dragging Steve to bed when there’s a knock on the door. Steve hangs his head in frustration, but goes to answer. Sam stands on the other side, looking sheepish. “Hey man, can we talk?”

Steve looks over at Bucky who nods. Steve steps aside, letting Sam come into their home. Sam takes a minute to look around, smiling gently. “This place is awesome.” Bucky looks pleased. Bucky indicates to sit and Sam takes a seat in the armchair, while Steve and Bucky cuddle into the sofa. Sam leans forward resting his arms on his knees. “The only thing I was concerned about is that…that…” He looks at Steve. “Is that you weren’t clear on what you were feeling.”

Steve smirks. “You mean transference.” Sam looks a little surprised. “Yeah Sam, that’s the first thing that my therapist and I talked about. I spent months in therapy before I even approached Bucky about my feelings.”

“You have to understand my concern.” Sam looks like the counselor that Steve’s seen at the VA.

“Yeah, I get that, but I wouldn’t have done that to Bucky. Even before I approached him, I didn’t want to do that to him.” Bucky leans up, kissing Steve’s cheek.

“And I thought I was overstepping my right to his affection because I was using my similarity to my grandfather to get to know him.” Steve looks down more than a little shocked. “What? You didn’t think I knew how complicated it could have gotten?”

Sam barks a laugh. “You two are ridiculous. I just wanted to say that I’m glad it happened the way it did and that you’re both happy. I suspect that Romanov and Stark are still going to do some digging, but they can’t deny how happy you two are.”

Steve suspects too that his teammates aren’t going to let this go until they have an answer that satisfies them, but he’s not going to get drawn into that mess. “It doesn’t matter how they feel about any of this. I didn’t have to tell any of you anything about it, but I did because I know them.”

“Maybe they just need time to process what you told them.” Bucky looks hopeful and Steve wants to believe that too.

Another week goes by and the Avengers are called on a mission in South America. Bucky kisses Steve goodbye and dives into work. Christmas is coming and he wants the shop to be as festive as possible. He starts baking different items to try out every day with the customers. The day he does the white chocolate/raspberry scones is the day that Pepper comes in. He calls her his guinea pig and she tries to act as though he’s imposing on her.

“Oh my god Bucky, these are incredible.” She’s humming around the second bite.

“So that’s a definite on adding them to the holiday menu?” He’s taken his own bite and has to admit they are delicious.

“Not just the holiday menu, but the everyday menu too.” He nods at that because all of the employees had commented that they would sell well all year round.

She stays for dinner and Bucky has her try out another dish that he’s been working on. He sits the plate in front of her and she raises her eyebrows. “Is this Beef Braciole?”

“It is. Tell me what you think.” They cut into the rolled meat and take a bite at the same time. Bucky’s eyes nearly roll back in his head and Pepper doesn’t look much better.

“Can you cook Christmas dinner at the Tower? This is one of the most amazing things I’ve ever had.” Bucky’s eyes shoot up.

“What?” He’s not sure he heard her right.

“I’m serious. You’d have free range of the chef’s kitchen and you could make this. And make extra so I can have it again for a midnight snack.” She’s looking at him hopeful. “Please?”

“You want me to come to the Tower and make Christmas dinner for everyone.” He doesn’t know who all that might entail, but he’s game if she’s serious.

“Yes. And so you know, Christmas Eve we throw a party and have the dinner catered, but Christmas day is just for a small group, maybe 20 people.”

So the plans are set and Pepper is so excited that she’s giddy during the rest of dinner. She returns to the Tower that night with bags of goodies that she swears she’s going to hide from everyone else. Bucky lies in bed that night and sends a text to Steve. He knows that Steve can’t read it, but he’ll see it when the mission is over. 

_‘Pepper asked me to fix Christmas dinner at the Tower. I told her I would.’_

Sometime during the night Bucky gets a response, but he doesn’t see it until morning.

_‘I can’t wait to see what you do. I miss you so much. I love you even more.’_

By the time Bucky arrives at the Tower, it’s been decorated floor to ceiling. Pepper greets him and after he puts his things away in Steve’s old apartment, she takes him to the chef’s kitchen. “I had everything you said you would need delivered.”

He looks through the pantry and large refrigerators and freezers. He sees extras of some things and turns to her grinning. “You plan for me to make extras of a few things.” She just grins wider. “I’ll make you anything you want.” She hugs him after that. “Thank you.”

“What are you thanking me for? You’re the one doing all the work.” She pulls away, searching his face.

“I know that Tony told you about how Steve and I got together. I just thought you might…” He doesn’t know how to finish that because even though he likes her, he doesn’t _know_ her.

She goes to the fridge and pulls out a bottle of champaign and grabs two glasses. “Come on, we’re drinking and I’m going to tell you what I really think.”

He doesn’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing, but follows her. Once piled on the sofa and glasses filled, Bucky looks closely at her. “Okay, hit me with it.”

She snorts. “You should stop expecting the worst from people associated with the Avengers.” He gives her a smirk. “Some of us are actually nice people. Take Sam and Clint, for example, they do the job, but don’t let themselves get caught up in the craziness that can come with that. Bruce could care less as long as everyone is safe. Thor seems to bring his own special drama to the group, but that’s usually because of his brother.” Bucky snorts at that. “So, that just leaves Tony and Natasha.”

Bucky drains his glass and pours another. “They don’t like me now and think that Steve could do better. They probably have a list of men for him to go out with.”

Pepper nods. “I would suspect that Nat does have a list, but I know for a fact that Tony doesn’t.” The look on Bucky’s face tells her that he doesn’t believe that. “He came home that day, from the café and told me what Steve had shared and how offended he was that Steve would drop the shield for you.” She pours her second glass. “I smacked him in the head and told him he was a jackass.” Bucky nearly spits the drink across the sofa. “I told him that if he really trusted Steve and really wanted to see him happy then he’d shut the hell up and listen to what the man had to say. Steve has never been happy here.” Bucky looks up, hurt and apologetic. “Not until he met you. Even before the two of you got together, he would come in happy and smiling. You can fake that for a little while, but it kept up. I wish that Tony looked at me the way Steve looks at you sometimes.”

“Pepper, you know that Tony loves you, right?” He leans over, putting his hand on her arm.

“Oh, I don’t know about that, but there’s a difference when _you’re_ their main focus or the _job_ is the main focus. Tony couldn’t walk away from being Iron Man for anything. It’s who he is. Steve on the other hand would drop the shield in an instant if he had to make a choice. That’s the difference. I think maybe I envy you and how much you two love each other.” They don’t hear the elevator ding or know that the Avengers have come around the corner to hear what they’ve been talking about. “What the two of you have is special. It’s a once in a lifetime thing.”

The voice that startles them is unexpected. “I’d stop being Iron Man if you asked me to. I’d give up everything for you.”

Pepper looks up and Tony’s eyes are red-rimmed. “Tony?”

Pepper stands, but doesn’t move to go to the man looking at her like she’s everything. “I love you and have loved you for longer than I’d like to admit. None of this means anything if I don’t have you there to come home to.”

Bucky gets up, not wanting to interrupt, but needing to hold Steve. Steve drops the shield and pulls Bucky to him. The rest of the team watches the genius, billionaire, philanthropist, playboy, profess his love to the woman that’s been by his side for years. “Tony?”

He tries to smirk, but it comes across pained. “Surprise. I thought you knew.”

She wraps him in her arms and he holds on like she’s the only thing keeping him grounded. “I love you too. I was sure you knew.”

Tony looks over at the rest of the team. “JARVIS?”

‘Sir.’

“Whatever background, invasive searches you’re doing on the Barnes family, stop immediately. And that’s not just the requests that I made, but anyone else in this building or on this team.” He looks over at Nat.

‘Very good, sir. And welcome home, sir.’

He looks at Steve and Bucky. “Merry Christmas, Cap. You and your fiancé gave me what I wanted most for Christmas.”

Steve scoops Bucky into his arms, who squeaks, and heads back to the elevator. “Goodnight everyone, don’t bother us until at least noon tomorrow. We have welcome home sex that needs to be attended to.”

They hear the barks of laughter from the rest of the team. Bucky snuggles into Steve’s arms, burying his head in his neck. “Ho ho ho, Merry Christmas to me.” Steve barks a laugh as they board the waiting lift.

Three days later, on Christmas morning, Steve presents Bucky with a ring to make their engagement official. Two months later, in a very cliché Valentine’s proposal that Pepper adored, Tony presents Pepper with one. She says ‘Yes.’


End file.
